I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
