'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
