paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize