Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize