Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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