pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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