What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
