the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
