Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
