Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize