So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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