after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
