new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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