Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
