You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
nutella sex= disaster
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
