Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
