You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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