I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
