Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize