Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
