wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize