Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
do nipples grow back?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
