Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
