As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
