I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
