do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize