Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
