hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
