Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
