Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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