you guys were way drunker than both of me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
