it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
