If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize