respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
