brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
