Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
