I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize