i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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