we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
