after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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