Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
