I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
