Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
