Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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