I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
