i can't believe i had my finger in that
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
