didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
