Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize