is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
