Whod you bang
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
