I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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