the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
