garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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