Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We are two peas in an std pod
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize