No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
