the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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