There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
