Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
