She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
