I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
