I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
