part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
