I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
