Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
