well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
