Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
