this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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