No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
