K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
