he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
